I'm only wearing a loose t shirt and an orange colored panty. I didn't know whether I was more surprised to hear this or more turned on, because 2 minutes ago I was blabbering some agonizing shit about my guilt of having a very hedonistic relationship with her. But she showed maturity and turned the discussion back to the only thing that matters, SEX.
Now that I have your attention, I can talk about anything right? You must've figured out that the title and the first paragraph of this blog reeks of cheap publicity. That stunt was basically a comprehensive hint of what I want to talk about. I want to talk about twitter. I know millions and millions of words and hundreds of thousands of pages have been written on this very subject, but that was a long time ago and now is the time to rediscuss it. I won't put forth my profoundly fraud (inspiration: ZNMD) philosophies about the endless search for acceptance through twitter. Rather I'm going to show you a side reaction and it's catalytic mechanism in this micro-blogging autoclave.
Now, every new product with something different to offer, initially becomes a rage and blows uncontrollably. But it's just a newsmaker then. No matter how many sale records it breaks, it takes time for it to become a 'washing powder Nirma'. Twitter is no different. It has had it's boom n even though now it has plateaued, it certainly has stood the test of time. So now that we can safely call it a global phenomenon, do we really need a reason to waste our time on the timeline? Duh! Unless you posses mind numbing good looks [I have a theory that mind numbingly good looking people don't need to justify anything, but more on that later]. So why are people on twitter? I can see a plethora of advertising geeks, social media marketers and brand developers whose job demands them to be there. Then celebrities are as good as mind numbingly good looking people. Then there are college kids who have all the time in the world and are at an age where they should experience everything. Then writers, bloggers and critics who must show their intellectual diversity, hence building a fan base or in other words, bread and butter. Then other people with shallower reasons. For example, sports fanatics (not fans, because fans aren't shallow). But why are people whose career paths are miles away from the social networking BDSM on twitter? I can understand if you have an inherent attraction towards random trivia like those quizzers and news maniacs. Then that's just internet addiction. Nothing specific. I think the answer would come by digging the foundation stone of this 140 character cocaine. What thought went into developing twitter? To let people speak their mind and know other people's mind about a certain piece of news? Arguable hypothesis, but at least a decent premise to begin with.
But if I only want to know the popular word, why can't I follow a herd of twiple and whenever there's an opinion worthy news, I can just log in to read 20-30 tweets, why be active unless I want my voice heard? Well, there are two problems with this method. One is finding the right people to follow. This is fairly easy to tackle with the help of your twitfreak friends. Everyone has plenty. But the 2nd problem is where you witness the real layers of this onion. See, the public opinion is controlled by a public figure, much like the politics of 70s. On twitter, celebrities aren't the controlling devices. In fact, they are very simple people with more or less trite comments. What really controls twitter are the twitcelebs, the crocodiles of this river, which are the crux of our 2nd problem. They are active, quick witted and thick skinned, so nothing fetters them while taking on anyone from an utterly insignificant person to the president of USA. Now, what you want to see when a news comes out is what people think about it but what you get to see is an illusion of vaguely strong feelings and opinions, which are in most cases far from the actual sentiment. The crocodiles manage to achieve this by simply cracking a smart joke (though irrelevant) using innovative tools like wordplay or the trusted HASHTAGS. This is a beautiful example of how red herring works. I'm not saying people dumbly follow them. On the contrary, the avaam is smart enough to not form an opinion too early as and when the said news is fresh. But when this unsure, vulnerable, wet clay of a mind reads something even mildly amusing, written by the crocodile, who has a massive twitter following (=respect), then the mind is liable to follow up on the scheme of jokes or even outrage for that matter. Now people are just making jokes, they probably haven't even given a cursory thought to the real issue. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying twitter has failed. But you just need to devote a lot more time than you think, to make good use of it. Our smart phones make us believe that our life has become faster, but actually for most people they slow it down tremendously. But I know I don't need to say this. Every user knows the truth.
So basically if your career doesn't demand social networking and you aren't the time passing college student then you are as good as the close friend of a rich guy who is taking loans he can't handle, just to maintain the gregarious lifestyle. Twitter demands regularity, for you to know the behavior of the twiples you follow which is how you can grasp the popular opinion. That means sacrificing a lot of time to know the real trick of this internet David Copperfield. But if *I* know the reality, why am I on twitter? Am I just another dude procrastinating the fuck out of his precious life? No. Actually I'm the rich guy, I can handle the loans.
PS: this whole perpetual mockery of Facebook on twitter is such a meta. But you know what else is meta? This blog.
Now that I have your attention, I can talk about anything right? You must've figured out that the title and the first paragraph of this blog reeks of cheap publicity. That stunt was basically a comprehensive hint of what I want to talk about. I want to talk about twitter. I know millions and millions of words and hundreds of thousands of pages have been written on this very subject, but that was a long time ago and now is the time to rediscuss it. I won't put forth my profoundly fraud (inspiration: ZNMD) philosophies about the endless search for acceptance through twitter. Rather I'm going to show you a side reaction and it's catalytic mechanism in this micro-blogging autoclave.
Now, every new product with something different to offer, initially becomes a rage and blows uncontrollably. But it's just a newsmaker then. No matter how many sale records it breaks, it takes time for it to become a 'washing powder Nirma'. Twitter is no different. It has had it's boom n even though now it has plateaued, it certainly has stood the test of time. So now that we can safely call it a global phenomenon, do we really need a reason to waste our time on the timeline? Duh! Unless you posses mind numbing good looks [I have a theory that mind numbingly good looking people don't need to justify anything, but more on that later]. So why are people on twitter? I can see a plethora of advertising geeks, social media marketers and brand developers whose job demands them to be there. Then celebrities are as good as mind numbingly good looking people. Then there are college kids who have all the time in the world and are at an age where they should experience everything. Then writers, bloggers and critics who must show their intellectual diversity, hence building a fan base or in other words, bread and butter. Then other people with shallower reasons. For example, sports fanatics (not fans, because fans aren't shallow). But why are people whose career paths are miles away from the social networking BDSM on twitter? I can understand if you have an inherent attraction towards random trivia like those quizzers and news maniacs. Then that's just internet addiction. Nothing specific. I think the answer would come by digging the foundation stone of this 140 character cocaine. What thought went into developing twitter? To let people speak their mind and know other people's mind about a certain piece of news? Arguable hypothesis, but at least a decent premise to begin with.
But if I only want to know the popular word, why can't I follow a herd of twiple and whenever there's an opinion worthy news, I can just log in to read 20-30 tweets, why be active unless I want my voice heard? Well, there are two problems with this method. One is finding the right people to follow. This is fairly easy to tackle with the help of your twitfreak friends. Everyone has plenty. But the 2nd problem is where you witness the real layers of this onion. See, the public opinion is controlled by a public figure, much like the politics of 70s. On twitter, celebrities aren't the controlling devices. In fact, they are very simple people with more or less trite comments. What really controls twitter are the twitcelebs, the crocodiles of this river, which are the crux of our 2nd problem. They are active, quick witted and thick skinned, so nothing fetters them while taking on anyone from an utterly insignificant person to the president of USA. Now, what you want to see when a news comes out is what people think about it but what you get to see is an illusion of vaguely strong feelings and opinions, which are in most cases far from the actual sentiment. The crocodiles manage to achieve this by simply cracking a smart joke (though irrelevant) using innovative tools like wordplay or the trusted HASHTAGS. This is a beautiful example of how red herring works. I'm not saying people dumbly follow them. On the contrary, the avaam is smart enough to not form an opinion too early as and when the said news is fresh. But when this unsure, vulnerable, wet clay of a mind reads something even mildly amusing, written by the crocodile, who has a massive twitter following (=respect), then the mind is liable to follow up on the scheme of jokes or even outrage for that matter. Now people are just making jokes, they probably haven't even given a cursory thought to the real issue. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying twitter has failed. But you just need to devote a lot more time than you think, to make good use of it. Our smart phones make us believe that our life has become faster, but actually for most people they slow it down tremendously. But I know I don't need to say this. Every user knows the truth.
So basically if your career doesn't demand social networking and you aren't the time passing college student then you are as good as the close friend of a rich guy who is taking loans he can't handle, just to maintain the gregarious lifestyle. Twitter demands regularity, for you to know the behavior of the twiples you follow which is how you can grasp the popular opinion. That means sacrificing a lot of time to know the real trick of this internet David Copperfield. But if *I* know the reality, why am I on twitter? Am I just another dude procrastinating the fuck out of his precious life? No. Actually I'm the rich guy, I can handle the loans.
PS: this whole perpetual mockery of Facebook on twitter is such a meta. But you know what else is meta? This blog.
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